gaa!!!! my entry got erased when i accidentally pressend da wrong thing!!!! it was a really long one too!! T.T

hanged out w/ carrie, christine, kristina on saturday. waited for soooo long for kk @ forest hill.....xtine was so desperate that she was gonna take a chance on expired pepsi . met w/ carrie @ roxbury crossing...took us soooo long to decide where to go! huiyi called kk n xtine trying to get them to study w/ her on a SATURDAY!! O_O.... we ended up going to MIT since do re mi doesnt open until 4 (or so we thought). saw ber, maggie, n kirby in da arcade (u ppl r suppose 2 b in class!!!......not that i ever actually went to class ) then star came n we played 2 games of foozball. OMG!!! i suck so much!! n she wanted to DDR so i got her tokens, but then everybody started coming over n she freaked out...n pushed me up!! i was like WTH??!! we ended up taking 2 arrows each...n we still failed...*tsk *tsk... carrie chased after kirby to put pink lipstick on him(n she dragged me w/ her) couldnt remember how to get to do re mi so had to call up huiyi, who didnt sound very happy. took da 66 from dudley, xtine was all freaking out cause she was afraid of da ppl @ da station...while carrie was like i didnt know 66 ran throu brookline??... [the entry is getting awfully long] when we got to do re mi we realized that it pend @ 2 on weekends n almost kicked ourselves 4 not coming earlier(cuz of kk's curfew). saw a bunch of random songs... hey neither xtine or carrie could read chinese very well... da karaoke machine thing was messed up cause sometime it got ear spliting loud n sometimes the song was wrong o.O

yesterday went to carrie's house in the morning cause mayor lunch doesnt start until 12. we watched this weird japanese film Battle Royal(possibly banned in da US) about this class of high school students put on an island n they have to play a game....they have 3 days to kill all the other classmates!! or all of them will die regardless... definately interesting....kinda like lord of the flies but w/ different motive... BR is constucted by teachers to control the students....O.o i wonder wat da reaction of white students would be... since most of them are so used to their american freedom

hey carrie!! that song that i couldnt remember goes like .... i dont want to love... (bu xian ai).... its track 13.... i dunno, it doesnt sound like faye wong

bu xian ai, bu xian ai
(dont want to love, dont want to love)
bu xian hao hao yi ga nan hai
(dont want a good boy)
jiou zhe yang zi gei wo chong huai
(to be spoiled by me like this)
wo de ai, tai ping pai??
(my love, somthing something)
dui ni tai hao, ni jiou kai shi dui wo huai
(if i'm good to you, you'll be bad to me)
bu zhi hao dai
(you dont know any better)

yah!! i downloaded this plugin yesterday for winamp that cuts out da vocals of mp3s!! now i dont have to break into do re mi to tape their music!!
daniela ditched me today!! all alone @ lunch. steve n nichole r on vacation. my manager isnt here(most of da time he isnt). i thought presten went to a funeral but he just came in late(10:00).
i really like that song on janet's xanga, but dont know wat it is, maybe i'll c her @ da moon festival. btw i'm broadcasting this (*ahem *ahem anusha...somebody call her!!) lets all go to da moon festival this weekend!!

its hard to tell but its true baby
i'm still apart of you, you're still apart of me
its hard to tell but its true baby
i'm still apart of you, you're still apart of me

baby if u want i'll b right here for you
from today to tomorrow
from winter to spring
baby if u want i'll b right here for you
from summer to fall
even when all the leaves have fallen

Nihilist Bear

the pictures from da zhang yimou award thing that i went to last june came out. if anyone wanna c them..... i have to like pay like $100 for the actual print thou (but it has his signiture?)!!! but such a rip off off!! since i was actually in those pics!! hehe guess which one's me!! since u cant really c da faces...

went there on sunday. carrie couldnt make it cause she was outa state, n sushi was still mourning over her gradmother. so called ppl up in the morning, but hardly any1 was up. didnt go to chinatown until like one cause didnt feel like baking under the sun for too long. wasnt hard finding xtine. it was so funny cause she "lost her family" she was all panicky n stuff. walked around.found ber.well more like ber found us. then saw maggie, she was calling us from da street but i'm blind n deaf. xtine found huiyi n we walked around to shop for jewelery. bought 3 ring n a bracelt. i was really scared of huiyi cause i didnt know how she'd react to me last time i checked she was still mad @ me cause of our "i thought you were/werent my friend" fight in like may. but it wasnt as bad as i thought n we were talking again. didnt get to see liz thou. walked round n round in circles w/ all da other ppl. so crowded!! nothing too interesting happened this yr, or as xtine says "aww..too bad no one got jumped this yr". soo funny...kerby was wearing all pink n some old guy walked up to him n was like y r u wearing girl's clothes? n kerby was like nah i'm stylin!! met up w/ ying @ borders while susan was dancing on my head, gave me a terrible headache that lasted all day. some guy @ borders yelled @ us for being too loud. lol every year @ the moon festival xtine sees this danny, n after she spots him she hides. had to split up cause had to practice w/ susan. da private lesson b4 us was suppose to end @ 4, but it dragged on 4ever!! so susan showed me tkd steps that i havnt learned yet. we made up our part w/ a matching butterfly spin n more spins.... i dont know if da new ppl ahve even learned this move yet....o well...i called xtine cause i wasnt sure if she got lost or something. turns out they went to da 4th floor instead of 5th. went to mcdonalds. but i was sooo dehydrated that i lost my apetite. o.O i didnt know bruce worked there...i always thought it was weird seeing someone u know work @ mcdonalds...but then i've worked on a farm. anyways after we ate, maggie was all like lets go lets go!! but xtine had to go to da lil girls room.....3 times!! then maggie left to eat w/ her friends n we stood @ da same spot 4 like 10 min deciding where to go. ended up going to macy's cause xtine needed to go AGAIN!!! me n huiyi trided on "fashionable" hats while xtine looked for da bathroom. we couldnt figure out how to put them on!! ended up looking like train conducters. haha xtine got lost on day way. go to her xanga 4 pics.

hey sushi!! i was doing research for this year's seevak topic n i came upon this article. it said that dorothy dix was only a pseudonym for elizabeth meriwether gilmer.....how come we never came across this during any of our research??!! the rest of da information was da same except for the name thing. i just thought that maybe we could have pulled more information if read this article b4 hand

anyways...i made a list of possible topics so tell me if u wanna copy

1. chobits - let me be with you
2. ashlee simpson - pieces of me
3. boa - destiny (korean v)
4. utada hikaru - simple and clean (english v)
5. kiss - because i'm a girl (korean v.)
6. one voice - deep in my heart
7. s.h.e - always on my mind

it starts today!!! google's all ready w/ its greek decorations. stuck @ work rite now...two more weeks until its all over!! ^_^ i guess after that this wont seem too bad... daniela tends to scare the hell outa me her face is like one of those serial killer's....soo scarry when she just quietly creeps up to u n stares @ you n smiles.....*shudders* i think i yelled outa surprise last time

since i've been worked last thurseday n friday, didnt have time to check here. i had to walk around the entire day!! well, almost entire day. i hate adults. so checking back now. i'm suppose to start on da 2003 upgrades cause thats wat i came in early for. but now i got tummy cramps n i really cant walk much.....dunno wat i'll do. trying to watch some of the series i borrowed last saturday. yah!! been waiting to watch this for 3 yrs!! i love this actor! he's my fav (He Quan). he's eyes are so ....different/weird. the thing i like about him is that no matter wat series he is in, he's always so cool n collected!! i wanna b likt that!! n he only acts in traditional martial arts series!! he's the best!! not that i dont think the other 3 guys in da series rnt cool. they're are all named weird to scare you... in da order of respectibility....Len Xue(Cold Blood), Wu Qing(No Mercy), Tie Shou(Iron Fist), Zhuai? Ming(Chase....Life?) chase always makes me laugh, he's like a lil boy(even thou in da series he's like 20, but suppose 2 b da youngest...lol..da chasing rabbit scene was funny). n his name is funny too! ...@ least i think, cause it always reminds me of a fat cat(chase as the cat) chasing a rat in circles cause he's too slow...LOL!!

-xtine
did u plug it in da right place? in the back there are 3 plugs for sounds....two for speakers n one for microphone. only one of the speaker plugs work for ear phones...

-sushi
get u're busy butt back home!! i dont care if u have to take a vacation or something!!! cant reach u @ all! whenever i actually have the energy to call you (which is on weekends) u're never ever freakin home!!!

i was watching the olympics too last weekend...lets see....swimming, basketball, volleyball, gymnastics, diving, cycling, n crew are wat i've seen so far....starbursts for whoever caught all da grammatical mistakes in that sentence!! ^_^

i'm working from a computer!! by remote control! which means i can take over other ppl's computer ^_^ isnt that cool? saves me lots of walking!
anyways just checked....china actually have the most gold as of now!! n they say they're only sending young ppl 4 experience. china's overall score is even better than the US

i'm actually busy w/ work these days! shockers O_O rite? anyways wat festival r u talking bout xtine? n carrie can i come n get BR next tuesday? when do u get off work again?
omg!! i watched da gymnastics for men last nite.....why does all the top 3 keep falling??!!! china n america were tied for gold, until both of them fell!! but then the US had one exercise left so the guy got a 9.8** n grabed da gold. u should da seen da looks on the korean ppl's faces!! they were all happy b4 cause they thought for sure that they'll win gold....but then the american gymnist gave an impossible performance!! i'm still sad that china didnt win anything!! yang wei was so awsome until he missed the bar. i mean he just missed it!! n his grab seemed so casual too!! but he just MISSED it!! so he had to come down from the bar, it was like a MAJOR deduction, he didnt even get a 9!! my parents were mad too. my dad was like yang wei is suppose to be the best since this is like his 4th olympics, he has the most experience. but he just kept falling this week. n my mom is like "not enough experience". thats basically wat she says about everything n everyone. -.-"

i have a performance @ the boys n girls club on 15 talbot ave (isnt that in dorchester?? O.o). gotta get there before 5:30....should i change @ work or wait until i get there? we'll b doing 2 dances today, the flower fan dance n da martial arts fan dance. we're learning a tibet and a modern dance during class rite now, maybe we'll perform it soon?? anyways my private lessons start next wednsday so i'll have a solo piece to perform as a sample for college admissions. wonder wat da teacher's gonna teach me...
i'm gonna have senior picture taken next tuesday! my mom scheduled an appointment so i can go after work. i'm getting my makeup done b4 da picture, daniela is scarring me w/ da process of shaping your eyebrows O_O

wat?? wat carwash??!! how come no one tells me anything??!! havnt hanged out w/ u guys for like 2 weeks now....star wants me to go shopping w/ her on sunday....opps....which reminds me thati was suppose 2 call her last nite....>.< so umm yeah....wat r u guys all doing this weekend?

went shopping w/ star, jenny, and lan after dance class, not that i bought anything. it was pouring so hard!!! so scarry!! it was like a storm!! star had the funkiest umbralla i've ever seen!! it was in the shape of keppie??(the frog thingie from sarino). it was her lil sisters, n it was wicked small!! it had the big frog eyes on the umbralla 2!! it could only fit jenny n star's head....not the rest of their body!! lol it was hilarious. they were tipping so slow too (heel toe heel toe!! lol). we n lan were bhind them (under a big umbralla) n we were bout to push them. walked around downtown in the rain, i swear we were probably the funniest sight u'll c. star n jenny sqicking under da keppie-bralla "running" like jap. geishas, n lan running in circles trying to protect her "crisp white" sneakers from da rain, n i was laughing too hard to know where i was going. when we were going home, lan started freaking out again bout going on da T by herself(hey jenny did it!!) so me n star walked her to the redline, then we went to forest hills.
had rehearsal sunday again. u know wat i found out??!! i have a performance this tuesday!!! yes the same tuesday i was suppose to have my pic taken!! but now i cant go cause i'm "leader" for all three dances >.< wat should i do??!!! o yeah, i've officially stopped working today since i've already did 10 upgrades which is a lot more than my last week of 4 nichole's on vacation...but i hear that she's in trouble for using the company phone to make wicked long personal calls. its ture!!! i swear!!! she calls ppl as much as i go on da internet!! so glad i wont c her again!!

took my senior pic yesterday! my mom came with, it was sooo embarrasing!! she walked around while farting....thats not really something i'd like her to do while she's in public places....emily was there too!! i mean wat r da chance that i'm suppose to c her?? like 1 outa 300??!! n my mom was like...thats emily??!! wth....she changed into a hispanic person??!! o_O the photo ppl r weird....the guy wouldnt take my pic until my "smile" was big enough.....i dont think he got the memo that i dont smile....-.-" ahhh!! the ppl @ da hair salon ruined my hair!!! @ first i was only suppose to get shaped eyebrows...but the lady was like omg!! u're hair is so greesy!! i cant work w/ this!! so she rushed me next doors to wash my hair...n somehow they started blowdrying my hair BLOWDRY!! do u know how damaging that is to u're hair??!! then they started straying a bunch of crap in her hair n made me look like one of those ppl in the 60s w/ HUGE hair!! (+ now my hair feels like straw even after i washed it) after all that torture...da eyebrow lady finally agreed to operate on me. but somehow she pulled out a pallet n started dabbing fundation n blush on me!!! O_O n i was like wat the hell??! but the lady only spoke cantonese so she couldnt understand me. after like 20 minutes she's like all done!! ^_^ n i was like.......i came here to get my eyebrows done -.-" she was like o really?? YES REALLY!! so 10 more minutes n i just spent 100 dollars!! >.<
o yeah...i got my permit too. i was freakin out cause i thought it would b a written test...but it was a computer one. n i thought that i wouldnt be able to skip questions n come back to them....i swear my legs were shaking like one of those clothes dryers. but i passed!! YES!! i was freakin out during the test too cause it keep asking me useless questions like how i will be fined if i steal somebody else's motercycle o_O i was like "i dont know....i wasnt planning on stealing motorcycles anytime soon...maybe i will for someone's wedding present ^_^".....if u think that was da right answer maybe u should study somemore! but yeah...i missed three questions....n all of them were like da motorcycle one. but I PASSED!! so take that mean office of motor veichles!! o yeah i look drunk on my pic again

FIRSTS
First job: marino lookout farm
First screen name: candydreamer86
First self purchased tape: mavis fan
First funeral: when i was 7, but cant remember who's it was o_O
First piercing/tattoo: dont have any
First credit card: 16 ^_^
First true love: .......??
First enemy: homeowkr!! n that french girl from second grade
First big trip: china to america
First concert: never been to one
First musician you remember hearing in your house: old communist singers...

LASTS
Last big car ride: ....last yr MIT 6 ppl in a car!
Last kiss: never
Last library book checked out: Quinever
Last movie seen: Harry Potter III
Last food consumed: burger + fries
Last phone call: carrie?
Last CD played: "troubled child"
Last annoyance: daniela
Last soda drank: hmm....2 days ago
Last ice cream eaten: 8/26
Last time scolded: right now
Last shirt worn: the one that i'm wearing now
Last website visited: xtine

I AM: bored!!!
I WANT: 1600!!!
I HAVE: FAT!!
I WISH: that i didnt exist
I HATE: lots of things/people
I FEAR: the dark n water
I HEAR: daniela babbling
I SEARCH: for understanding
I WONDER: if its possible for a person to be truely happy AND successful
I REGRET: things that i dont say out loud
I LOVE: a 80GB laptop
I ACHE: from dance practice
I ALWAYS: pick out the small faults
I AM NOT: as cold as u think i am
I DANCE: for college acceptence. lol. for the culturely deprived
I SING: and dance in my living room
I CRY: when no one's looking
I AM NOT ALWAYS: quiet
I WRITE: daily
I WIN: @ zoo keeper!!^_^
I LOSE: everything important
I CONFUSE: parents
I NEED: 80GB LAPTOP!!! o yeah n cable TV!!
I SHOULD: focus on school

YES or NO:
x. YOU KEEP A DIARY: lots of them
x. YOU LIKE TO COOK: haha thats funny
x. YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: yes

DO YOU...?
HAVE A CRUSH: u should know
WANT TO GET MARRIED: .........
GET MOTION SICKNESS: no
THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: no way, junk food all the way!!
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: haha
LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: NO they're scary!! >.< but drizzles r nice

CURRENT HAIR COLOR: black
EYE COLOR: black?
BIRTHPLACE: shanghai

FAVORITES:
NUMBER: 12
COLOR: black, white, blue, silver
DAY: friday
MONTH: december
SONG(S): betray, sakura drops, just once, paint it black
SEASON: winter
DRINK: anything carbonated, chrysansum?(ju hua) tea!!

PREFERENCES:
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: wat the hell......
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: O_o
MILK, DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: dark
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: chocolate mint

IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...
CRIED? if i did u wouldnt see me
HELPED SOMEONE? dont think so
BOUGHT SOMETHING? not yet
GOTTEN SICK? sick of boredom
GONE TO THE MOVIES? no
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? its still morning/noon
SAID 'i love you'?: never have
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: no
TALKED TO AN EX?: not even if i wanted to
MISSED AN EX? : of course not, its not good for my mental health
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: yup
HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: does seevak count?
MISSED SOMEONE? mind over matter
HUGGED SOMEONE? nope
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? not that i can think off
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? sure....

WOULD YOU EVER:
1. Eat a bug?: maybe in my sleep
2. Bungee jump?: that'd b cool
4. Kill someone? : how would you like to know
5. Kiss someone of the same sex? never kissed ANYONE to begin with
6. Have sex with someone of the same sex? u're kidding rite.....
7. Parachute from a plane? i would jump w/o one!!
8. Walk on hot coals? w/ hiking boots
9. Go out with someone for their looks? perhaps
11. Be a vegetarian? doubtful
12. Wear plaid with stripes? wat does that look like??
13. IM a stranger? who in their rite mind?
14. Sing Karaoke? my daily routine
15. Get drunk off your Ass? does that require alcohol?
16. Shoplift? i have
17. Run a red light? maybe after i drive outa da parking lot
18. Star in a porn video? not in u're dreams
19. Dye your hair blue? YES!! totally!!
20. Be on Survivor? isnt there an age limit?
21. Wear makeup in public?: if i had a 12hr nap
22. Not wear makeup in public? wat r u implying
23. Cheat on a test? no, too bad, gotta get rida that conscience
24. Make someone cry? then my life mission would be complete
25. Date someone more than 10 years older than you? no...thats creepy
26. Stay up all night? if theres shinhwa

FIRSTS
First job: state street bank
First screen name: my sn
First self purchased tape: nsync
First funeral: i don't see dead people
First piercing/tattoo: ears
First credit card: none
First true love: love is never true
First enemy: that bitch
First big trip: the homeland
First concert: never been to one
First musician you remember hearing in your house: elvis...the viet one

LASTS
Last big car ride: noontime
Last kiss: mwah
Last library book checked out: 101 sex positions
Last movie seen: kill bill vol.1
Last food consumed: crispy chicken salad
Last phone call: hello mommy
Last CD played: tatu
Last annoyance: that bitch
Last soda drank: pep-c
Last ice cream eaten: don't remember when
Last time scolded: last night
Last shirt worn: the red one
Last website visited: this one

I AM: female
I WANT: money
I HAVE: no money
I WISH: for money
I HATE: bad people
I FEAR: strangers with guns
I HEAR: people walking by and this freaky person giggling
I SEARCH: for answers
I WONDER: about my destiny/fate
I REGRET: past mistakse
I LOVE: living
I ACHE: for understanding
I ALWAYS: remember
I AM NOT: as funny as u think i am
I DANCE: horribly
I SING: even worse
I CRY: when there's something to be cried about
I AM NOT ALWAYS: this stupid
I WRITE: when i feel like it
I WIN: junk
I LOSE: my sanity
I CONFUSE: people in general
I NEED: to love
I SHOULD: reconnect with old friends

YES or NO:
x. YOU KEEP A DIARY: journal...not diary, never diary
x. YOU LIKE TO COOK: cereal
x. YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: secrets...plural

DO YOU...?
HAVE A CRUSH: no
WANT TO GET MARRIED: rings look like miniature handcuffs
GET MOTION SICKNESS: when i'm in motion
THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: yes...i have freaky health habits
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: why not?
LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: do you?

CURRENT HAIR COLOR: the color of my hair
EYE COLOR: the color in my freakin eye
BIRTHPLACE: the place i was born...a hospital

FAVORITES:
NUMBER: infinity
COLOR: white
DAY: holiDAY
MONTH: January
SONG(S): IRIS - goo goo dolls
SEASON: autumn (not fall)
DRINK: h2o

PREFERENCES:
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: pass
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: powdered milk
MILK, DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: white
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: neither

IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...
CRIED? mentally
HELPED SOMEONE? myself
BOUGHT SOMETHING? yes
GOTTEN SICK? of you
GONE TO THE MOVIES? no
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? no
SAID 'i love you'?: yes
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: email
TALKED TO AN EX?: hello ex
MISSED AN EX? : f-you ex
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: this one
HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: no one listens when i talk seriously
MISSED SOMEONE? plenty of people
HUGGED SOMEONE? she refuses to hug me...
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? no
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? she refuses to hug me...

WOULD YOU EVER:
1. Eat a bug?: how much are you going to pay me?
2. Bungee jump?: you first
4. Kill someone? : no
5. Kiss someone of the same sex? are you a good kisser?
6. Have sex with someone of the same sex? is it physically possible to really have "sex" with someon of the same sex?
7. Parachute from a plane? yes
8. Walk on hot coals? pay me
9. Go out with someone for their looks? how about their money?
11. Be a vegetarian? tried that
12. Wear plaid with stripes? i do that already
13. IM a stranger? my aunt
14. Sing Karaoke? pay me
15. Get drunk off your Ass? my ass has no alcohol
16. Shoplift? yes
17. Run a red light? i would
18. Star in a porn video? would you hire me?
19. Dye your hair blue? why not?
20. Be on Survivor? i would not survive and therefore, it would not be called Survivor
21. Wear makeup in public?: pay me
22. Not wear makeup in public? i do that everyday
23. Cheat on a test? yes, no regrets
24. Make someone cry? not intentionally...unless they really needed to cry and i really needed to tell them something
25. Date someone more than 10 years older than you? is he hotter than me?
26. Stay up all night? u know ms. johnson too don't you?

yeah rite....in my neighborhood parking lot i was freaking out sooo much da first five minutes! i was omg. wat do i do??!!! i'm not touching anything??!!! then y is the car moving??!!! ahh!! the car's possesed!! lol yeah...that freaked me out a bit. but got the hang of it after 10. @ first it was just random turns in the parking lot, but then my mom set up all those weird regulations...i can only stay in one particular row of parking spaces...n everytime i turn, i have to wait until i get to the end of the marked line or else i'll be hitting "another car". the same when i turn, cant get on any of the white lines or else i'm either driving up an invisible curb or crashing into non-existant cars. other than that it was alright ^_^ i swear i was more nervous in the week that my dad "taught"(yeah more like pushed me off a hill) me to ride a bike. turned around for an hour then drove outa the parking lot, mom took over when we hit the streets. not bad for a first try if i do say so myself
n yeah is there any *reliable* (wink wink) people out there who want to go to new york??

first day after work YES slept past noon today.....i've got a week or so to relax before i gotta head back to school >.< school.....one of the many unpleasant things/with unpleasant people i surely would like to avoid.... but on the bright side...umm...cant think of anything rite now but yeah...
do do do...lets make a deal if carrie brings me BR on wednesday then i'll come!! ^_^ not really much of a bargen but i'm sure it'll motivate me somewhat.....n hopefully no one unpleasant will show up unexpected....